


I’ll Be Home for Christmas (If Only in My Dreams)

by Adrianna_Agray



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Cuban Lance (Voltron), Español | Spanish, Gen, Homesick Lance (Voltron), Homesickness, Lance (Voltron) Speaks Spanish, just a bit, minor depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:21:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28198326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adrianna_Agray/pseuds/Adrianna_Agray
Summary: Lance is homesick. This is not a new development, but it is getting progressively worse the closer it gets to Christmas. As the Phoeb comes to a close, he worries how his familia is handling his absence. Luckily, his space family is there to spread some holiday cheer.
Relationships: Hunk & Lance (Voltron), Lance & Voltron: Legendary Defender Team
Comments: 3
Kudos: 12





	I’ll Be Home for Christmas (If Only in My Dreams)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kryste_Harte](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kryste_Harte/gifts).



> This wonderful word is for Kryste_Harte for the Secret Santa Exchange on IcyPanther's Patreon : ) If you like Voltron:LD and haven't come accross Icy's works yet please go check them out : )
> 
> Timeline Notes: Early Season 2  
> Warning Notes: homesickness, minor depression

Lance shot up in his bed with tears spilling down his cheeks. Pulling his quilt up to his face, he took a few deep breaths. Slightly calmer, he flopped back against his pillow. It was far too early for him to be awake, but after having that dream again there was no way he was falling back asleep.

Lance has been having this nightmare for the past three nights in a row and sporadically for a few weeks before that. He knows why it keeps happening. Hopefully they will taper back off after today, since it’s Christmas Eve. The approaching holidays have not been brought up by anyone else, and he certainly isn’t going to be the one to do it. He knows that they are busy with the war and it’s hard to keep track of earth time up here. The others probably pushed this day to the backburner like he should be doing. Do Alteans have holidays like this? He probably should ask because it’s rude not to know what religious holidays your closest friends observe, right? Coran would probably chat his ear off about them if he asked, but he hasn’t been in the mood for conversations recently. He hasn’t been in the mood for much of anything lately.

His training has suffered a bit. He knows that (especially after Keith chewed his head off for tripping him yesterday) the others have noticed. He does not think they know why though, at least no one’s confronted him about it yet. Lance is extremely thankful that the last distress beacon they answered had nothing to do with the Galra. While he always gives everything to those fights, he still feels unworthy to be here. Space is so fantastical yet horrifying that he can barely keep up. He’s not super smart like Pidge, Hunk, and Coran. He’s not masterful with combat like Keith and Shiro. Princess Allura was born for her role, but Lance is just a boy from Cuba.

 _Dios_ , He just wanted to go home.

Even if home was the setting for his current batch of nightmares. Nightmares that are all so similar to each other yet have their own distinct characteristics. Thinking back on tonight’s terrors sent another chill up his spine. It’s like something out of _A Christmas Carol…_

_He’s standing outside his house. It’s snowing and the few lights hanging outside turn the snow into rainbows. It looks just like how he helped Marco set it up last year. Lance can hear music playing in the house, but he can’t make out the words or remember its name. He looks through the window and sees their Christmas tree fully decorated. How Rachel and Veronica always manage to put Mamá’s three full tubs of ornaments on one tree without it looking weird he still doesn’t know. The whole family is gathered around the tree. Papá is in his armchair with Mamá beside him. Luis and Lisa are sitting in the loveseat as Silvio and Nadia are playing on the floor. Marco, Veronica, and Rachel are sitting on the couch with their backs to the window._

_Lance can’t help but think they all look sad and they are far too quiet. Rachel has her head resting on Veronica’s shoulder and Marco’s arm is wrapped around them both._

“Empecemos con los regalos,” _Mamá said as she went to the tree and brought over Nadia’s presents._

 _With a family so large there needs to be an order for everything, including gift giving. The youngest would always go first. Luis helped Mamá bring over Silvio’s gifts while Nadia demanded her mother open her new doll from her_ abuelos _. Since Rachel and Lance are twins, they would alternate back and forth with each gift. He remembers Rachel getting so mad that he got to open the first gift every year and the smug look on her face when Silvio had his first Christmas. She rubbed it in his face every other opportunity she got that she was five minutes older than him, but it was different on Christmas and their birthday._

_It’s at this point in the nightmare that Lance tries to go inside, but his feet are glued to the snow._

_When Silvio finished the last of his gifts, Mamá went to the tree to get the presents for Rachel. Lance heard his sister sob as Mamá turned around._

“Oh mija,”

“Estás bien,”

“Hermanita,”

“Estará bien,”

“Estamos aquí,”

“Que está mal Tía Rachel?”

_Lisa took Silvio and Nadia to another room as everyone else began to shed a few tears and Rachel sobbed harder. Lance was crying too, but his family could not hear him. They never could. It went on like this for a few minutes with empty platitudes interjected here and there until Rachel was calm enough to get a few choked words out._

“¿Có-Cómo puedo abrir estos sin mi her-hermano gemelo a mi lado?” _Rachel muttered._

“¡Estoy aquí! ¡Hermanos! ¡Mamá! ¡Papá! ¡Estoy aquí!” _Lance would shout over and over, but his family cannot hear him._

That is where the nightmares would normally stop. Sometimes a different family member would cry first, but it was usually Rachel or Mamá. Sometimes it was Silvio or Nadia asking where Tío Lance was that started it instead of the presents. The results always ended with Lance screaming for his family to let him in as he banged on the window.

Lance shuddered again as he looked at the time. He had about a varga and twenty doboshes before he should reasonably be awake. They have breakfast in two varga and training in three. Lance groaned as he tried to think of something to occupy the time.

…

A varga and thirty-seven doboshes later, Lance is still lying in bed. He knows he should get out of bed, start his morning routine, but he’s been having issues with that too lately. He’s got a pimple on his forehead. It’s right at his hair line and his bangs cover it, but it’s the biggest sign that he hasn’t been taking care of his hygiene as he used to. What’s the point of having flawless skin if no one’s going to see it, right?

Eight minutes before he was expected in the dining room Lance managed to pull himself out of bed. He got dressed in a daze and went to meet the others. Lance did not really get out of that dazed state either. He went through the motions of the day with a smile that did not quite reach his eyes and other muted expressions. Coran, Shiro, and Allura were discussing where to position the castle for the spicolian movement. He made idle chitchat with Pidge and Hunk. Hunk had said something about trying a new recipe for dinner tonight that he thought Lance would really like. Keith made to leave breakfast early to go train, so Lance made a comment about how the mullet should stop and enjoy the food goo. The Red Paladin huffed and left the room anyway. A few doboshes later the rest of the team joined Keith in the training room.

Training was thankfully uneventful for Lance as they were working on their individual skills today. Keith and Shiro decided to spar while Pidge, Hunk, and Lance worked on their long-range attacks. This let Lance get lost in the motions of firing his bayard. It was calming not having to think about anything else for a few hours. Towards the end of the scheduled training time, Shiro called everyone together to do a mile run. This was met with several unhappy teenagers, but Lance was more upset that training would be over.

That meant he would be on his own again.

He was mostly successful in avoiding that thought as he raced Keith around the perimeter of the room. Then Shiro led them in some stretches before he dragged Keith with him to the bridge to join Coran and Allura. Pidge and Hunk went to work in their lab. Lance decided to retreat to his room once again.

Alone.

Unless an emergency alert came in, (which he prayed it did not, he did not get enough sleep for that) he would be on his own until dinner. He sat down on his bed and contemplated going and sitting with either working party. Even though Lance did not understand all the science jargon used in the lab, he liked to listen to them tinker. The bridge was spacious too, he could just sit in his chair and nobody would know he was there. Lance ultimately decided just to listen to music using the headphones he pilfered from Pidge. He would only get in the others’ way anyhow. It’s not like he could really contribute to what they were doing. He’s just the pretty face who’s halfway decent with a blaster. Veronica was always the tactical genius of the _familia._ She would always say he was one step behind her, but up here it’s different. The vast amount of information in the expanses of space overwhelm him. He knows he wasn’t anything special on earth, but at least there he was average. Up here it’s like he’s a speck of space debris next to these blinding stars. There is beauty juxtaposed with horrors so much grander than he thought existed on earth. Those thoughts make his poor, small head hurt.

He really should take this free time to try and nap. Only getting three or four hours of sleep for the past few nights is really starting to get to him. It is really not a good idea for him to go into combat like this. So, despite his fears of his nightmares visiting him again, Lance hunkers down under his quilt and tries to get some shut eye.

…

The nightmare was somehow worse. This time his _familia_ was crying in front of his grave. They put a gift beside it for him.

…

His nap was longer than the amount of sleep he got last night. This will surely mess up his sleeping schedule for tonight. He’s still so tired. The nightmares do not make for a restful sleep.

Lance ended up missing lunch. It’s not the first time it’s happened this week. He knows he should eat, even if it’s later than he intended. It’s just hard to eat a meal alone, especially when he’s not hungry because of bad dreams. He could ask someone to join him, but he doesn’t want to come off as needy. What kind of Paladin of Voltron would he be if he needed someone to make sure he ate? Anyway, Lance can more than make up for the lost meal with the extra plate he eats at dinner.

Hunk should be working on dinner now. If he wanted to try a new recipe, he usually starts earlier in case the first try is totally inedible. Lance could go to the kitchen to see if Hunk wanted any help with the prep work. He has gotten pretty good at mincing the vegetables.

Lance decided to make a pit stop at the bathroom before heading to the kitchen. He had forgotten to shower after training and Hunk would definitely be able to notice. When he looks at himself in the mirror he winces. He still had bags under his eyes, even with the cat nap. He showered quickly and changed into clean clothes. Then he applied some concealer Allura had given him one day after he complained about a bright red pimple on his nose distracting him. That was before Coran gave him a better space face soap to use. He really needed to use it regularly. It is such a wonderful gift and he’s been letting it go to waste. Pushing his discouraging thoughts aside, Lance went to the kitchen. Lance hears a few pots banging as he entered the room. It smelled like home as soon as the door opened, but Lance could not quite put his finger on why.

“Hey, Lance,” Hunk said as he pulled the large frying pan out of the cabinet.

“Hi, Hunk. Need any help?”

“I’m good. I just need to get the space rice and beans cooking,”

Lance walked over to the pot on the stove and tried to make out what was in it through the steam. Meanwhile, Hunk finished putting the space beans and rice to cook on the stove.

“So, what’ve you got for us tonight?”

“It still should cook a bit longer to let the flavors combine, but it should be cooked through. Why don’t you give it a taste and see?” Hunk said as Lance picked up the lid.

It-it looks just like Mamá’s _Ropa Vieja_.

He took the testing spoon Hunk had set to the side and stuck it in the Cuban style stewed vegetables.

It tastes just like Mamá’s _Ropa Vieja_ too.

Lance let one silent tear fall before he started sobbing.

“Lance? _Hermano, que pasa?_ ”

Lance just shook his head as Hunk pulled him into a hug. He cried like that with Hunk shushing him for several minutes. Eventually, Hunk guided Lance over to the table to sit.

 _“Hermano, que pasa?_ ”

Lance debated lying to his best friend again. Before blasting off to space, Lance never thought to hide anything from Hunk. Recently though…he had been doing it quite a bit. He knew Hunk and the others were homesick too. They did not need to have him whining about it. As he was trying to think of another explanation for his outburst, Hunk waited with a concerned yet knowing look on his face. With tears washing away his makeup, he knew the jig was up. Hunk deserved to know everything.

It all sort of tumbled out in a word vomit. Starting in rapid fire Spanish, his rant merged into Spanglish because he forgot some of the Spanish words he needed. This made Lance cry harder and Hunk hold him tighter. He told Hunk about the nightmares and the sleepless nights. The overwhelming longing for a hug from his Papá. Every little detail he could think of. Eventually, Lance had said his mind and slumped against Hunk’s side in the chair.

“Oh, _hermano._ We will get to be with everyone back on earth again. I know it’s hard to think about what the Garrison must have told them given what they said about Shiro and Pidge’s family. It will be alright though, _lo prometo.”_

They sat there for a while in silence, taking in each other’s company. Lance sniffled a few more times before Hunk got up to check on the food again. On his way back over, Hunk grabbed a damp cloth for Lance’s face.

“ _Gracias, hermano._ ”

“ _No hay problema_ ”

Just as Lance finished scrubbing his face, the others started to make their way in for dinner.

“Lance? What’s wrong, my boy?” Coran was the first to notice his sorry state.

“I’m good, Coran. Just a bit homesick,” Lance responded, “Hunk made a dish that tastes just like something my mom would make on Christmas Eve every year. And well…”

“Today is Christmas Eve,” Pidge supplied, “I noticed it yesterday looking at the calendar on my computer. When I mentioned it to Hunk, he about ran to the kitchen to find a spice that was close enough to cumin for the dish.”

“What is the significance of this ‘Christmas Eve’ you speak of?” Allura asked.

“It is the day before a big religious holiday on earth celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ,” Shiro explained, “called Christmas. Eve means the day before an event.”

“Really? How interesting, Altea did not have such a religious observance,” Coran stated.

“Alright everybody, let’s get some food and then we can have some story time,” Hunk said while getting dishes for everyone.

As they at the shredded Leonlic Root (which is a vegetable that tastes just like beef) over the space beans and rice, they shared stories about what their families did on Christmas and what the day represents for the Christians who celebrate it. Allura was quite confused as to why the paladins would place dead trees in their living rooms. Her quizzical face when Pidge described hiding a ceramic pickle inside the tree made everyone chuckle. Coran was quite concerned over the fire hazard placing candles in the tree posed, before Hunk explained that they do not light them anymore, using electric lights instead. Lance explains the tradition of presents and how his own _familia_ distributed their gifts. Keith and Shiro expressed how they would watch holiday movies on Christmas Eve and make chili for Christmas dinner.

“I do have one of the stop animation Christmas shows downloaded on my laptop,” Pidge said as they started to clear away the dishes, “It’s a good one to explain the story of Santa Claus too.”

Then they all gathered in the lounge as Pidge set up _Santa Claus is Coming to Town_ to project on the wall. Hunk brought in the space hot chocolate and settled in beside the rest of his Garrison trio. They answered several more questions for the Alteans as the show went on. They laughed at the silly antics and boo’d the Burgermeister. Lance had the most fun he had had in a while. Even Keith smiled as all the children got their toys. At some point after the flying reindeer, Lance must have drifted off again. The day had been rather emotionally taxing for him so it was not that surprising that he would fall asleep.

He did not have any nightmares that evening. Instead, Lance and Hunk were celebrating Christmas together with their families. They laughed, opened presents, and played with their nieces and nephews. The dream ended with Hunk saying they had to go, or they would miss the party at Pidge’s house.

Lance awoke with a smile on his face. The other paladins were all still in the lounge in various sleeping positions. Keith being sprawled as he was over Shiro was particularly amusing and he wished he had a camera. Allura and Coran must have retired to their rooms at some point in the night. That was alright though. Lance knew he would see them at breakfast. He snuggled deeper into Hunk’s side and his best friend unconsciously through an arm over Lance’s stomach. Lance sighed with content before letting his eyes drift close once again. He may not be home with his _familia_ this Christmas, but he has his space family until they can all go back to earth.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all so much for reading : ) If you have the time please leave a kudos and a comment : ) they mean a lot to me : ) Have a merry Christmas and happy holidays everyone : )


End file.
